


Arctic Elves

by Thishouseisaflyingcircus



Category: Arctic Monkeys, British Singers RPF, Indie Music RPF
Genre: Candy Canes, Christmas, Corporate greed, Elves, M/M, North Pole, Reindeer, Snow, phallic candy canes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8774716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thishouseisaflyingcircus/pseuds/Thishouseisaflyingcircus
Summary: A heart-warming, holiday tale about a ragtag group of elves and their life at the North Pole.ORHow four, very mischievous elves kick some ass to save their beloved North Pole from the very evil clutches of corporate greed.





	1. Chapter 1

There will always be things that don't quite make sense - trees that bend away from the sun or grow their roots above the ground, water that a body can't sink into no matter how hard it tries, dogs that don't bark, birds that can't fly - and these anomalies all manage to survive despite going against the general rules of nature and, in most cases, they even thrive on their own uniqueness.

The North Pole was no exception.

The wintery fairyland, considered by many to be the perfect setting where everything always goes according to plan and everyone is always productive and merry, also had its own little band of non-conformists.

The wayward group was quite small, numbering only four young elves, but at times it seemed like there were many more due to their mischievous antics and their well-meaning but misguided attempts to help make the season bright in their very own special way.

 

They made an odd and curious foursome.

Matt, Jamie, and Nick were sturdy, headstrong elves who never tried too hard to be like the others, never really fit in, and never followed the rules. And then there was Alex, who was diminutive even in elfin terms and extremely clever, soft-spoken, and kindhearted.

The four young elves shared a strong, unbreakable bond. Alex couldn't help but gravitate towards Matt, Jamie, and Nick's energy, and they were drawn to Alex and his loving, good-natured ways and they doted on him constantly, always fiercely protective of their little friend, who was one of the few things they really cared about.

Alex kept the three sprites on their toes as he dashed through the snow and flitted around the village, bringing good tidings and bestowing warm hugs and forehead kisses on unsuspecting elves, his lithe body absorbing and radiating the joy that swirled throughout the North Pole.

 

The four were very kind and loving, like all good elves are, but oftentimes they were _overly_ kind and loving with each other, and their public displays of affection sometimes made many of the other good, wholesome elves extremely uncomfortable.

Nick enjoyed sitting on one of the peppermint bark benches by the pond, watching the seven swans a swimming, while little Alex sat snugly on his lap, Nick's strong arms enveloping him, their warm fingers entwined tightly while Alex sang yuletide carols between sweet kisses and giggles.

Matt was never merrier than when he had Alex pressed up firmly against the Icicle Gazebo or the North Pole sign, covering his neck in sweet kisses while Alex giggled and squirmed, pretending to fight him off until he no longer wanted to struggle and was completely happy snuggled up with Matt, together like two birds of a feather would be.

And Jamie loved snowballing with Alex in their wonderland of snow, both young elves precise with their aim and hitting their targets perfectly before Jamie would finally tackle Alex into the white powder where they would roll around, dressed up like Eskimos, making odd-shaped snow angels, sharing sweet kisses, and giggling until they were comfy cozy and their cheeks were nice and rosy.

The four were completely content in their little world and didn't mind the occasional odd look, judgmental huff, or nosey stare from other elves, because they were together and free to live their happy lives the way they wanted in their beloved little house at the North Pole.

 

Santa and Mrs. Claus dearly loved their misfitted and mischievous boys, but they were also very concerned about their future at the North Pole as each boy struggled to fit the elfin roles they were born into.

This had never happened with any other elves before.

Certain basic skills came naturally to all elves, but for some reason, these skills eluded Alex, Matt, Jamie, and Nick, and their lack of focus and ability often slowed production down to a dead standstill in the process.

Nick failed in the Bake Shop, where his special Gingerbread Kush and Rudolph's Red Eye Brownies left the taste-testers incapacitated for hours.

Jamie's unusual vocals didn't quite blend in with the Merrily We Go Choir Club, the group that moved from shop to shop, inspiring and motivating the other elves to work harder while serenading them with merry, feel-good holiday tunes. Jamie was also a bit too rough when striking the delicate harp or drum, so instrument play was also out of the question.

Matt had trouble in the Knitting Hut, where he preferred drumming his needles on every surface available over making festive holiday scarves, hats, and stockings. He also liked to punch things, a lot. Indeed, no holiday inflatable was safe when Matt was around.

Alex was assigned to the Toy Shop, where he was brilliant and always came up with the year's best toys. In fact, Alex and his creative imagination were responsible for many well-known classics from years past, including the Slinky, the Etch A Sketch, the Lite Brite, and the Hula Hoop.

Alex's main difficulty was bringing his ideas to fruition. He could picture a toy in his head and could go on and on describing it in minute detail, but he couldn't build it.

Alex was an elf that couldn't make a toy.

Santa solved the problem by having Alex describe the toy to the other elves who would then design and build prototypes to Alex's detailed specifications. It worked out well this way, but Alex still struggled in the Toy Shop. He was slow, so _very_ agonizingly slow, which was the direct opposite of what all good elves were known for - their stellar productivity and swift efficiency.

Alex would spend long hours, even days, smiling and singing as he modified one tiny toy motorcycle or fussed over the delicate design he was painting onto a yo-yo.

And then, after so much precious time had been spent on a single toy, Alex would declare that it was just _too_ special to give away and he would shove the treasure into his little elf pocket to take home and present to his cherished roommates.

 

The North Pole community did their best to overlook the constant, merry frotting and the lack of solid, elfin skills because the four young elves were truly good and kind at heart. But sometimes, the boys were just downright mischievous and found great joy and humor in things that others thought rude or crude.

The boys tried their best to be good, for goodness sake, but they bored quickly and sometimes they just couldn't help themselves as they looked for an outlet for their abundant energy. They took great delight in playing tricks on the other elves of the village, sneaking bottles from Santa's prized wine collection, constantly rolling the native mistletoe and smoking it, and giggling all the way while doing it.

The four weren't intentionally mean or defiant and they certainly never meant harm to anyone, they were just eager to share their own unique brand of humor and happiness with the others. They were never too naughty, so it was simply accepted around the village that these elves were just a little different, and were always going to be... _just_...a little different.

The last thing Alex, Matt, Jamie, and Nick would ever want would be to upset or disappoint Santa or Mrs. Claus, whom they loved and respected more than anything in their world.

They would never, ever, want that to happen.

 

It finally did happen when many frustrated elves came to Santa one morning, complaining about Alex, Matt, Jamie, and Nick's latest antic, now referred to as _The Candy Cane Incident_. After hearing what his young, wayward elves had done, Santa was left with no other choice but to somehow deal with them and their playful naughtiness.

After the first official snowfall of the season, there was a North Pole tradition of lining the pathways through the village with snow angels, side-by-side, all along the newly-fallen powder where the grass met the cobblestone. It was always a festive event, hot chocolate with candy cane stir sticks was served and chestnuts roasted on an open fire, songs were sung, and each and every elf would lie in the pristine whiteness and leave an imprint of themselves along the walkway, moving their arms up and down to make gloriously winged angels, short and tall, big and small, young and old.

This year was no exception and everything went perfectly until the village awoke the next morning, the elves bright and cheery and ready to start another productive day, only to find each snow creation had been adorned with a candy cane protruding from a very strategic place, as though all the angels were not only male, but also very, very excited and happy to greet the elves on their journey to work.

Snow angels with hard, curled, red and white striped, candy cocks.

Santa really had no choice but to finally intervene.

 

In order to solve the dilemma, Santa reassigned the motley crew to exercising the reindeer, which he felt was relatively safe as long as the boys weren't in charge of feeding the animals or seeing to their health, something that was still being left in the hands of more responsible elves.

Santa still needed Alex's toy creations, but once Alex had explained and approved his ideas, he was free to be in the holiday stables, helping his friends with the reindeer.

Santa was hoping that, maybe in the process of working with the animals, the elves would also release some of their own creative energy as well.

So, that is how the four young elves found themselves tasked with taking Santa's reindeer out into the fields and forest where they played reindeer games to help with the animals' speed and dexterity, and where they also worked on the younger fawns' flying and prancing skills.

The job fit the boys well - they didn't have to get up too early in the morning, there weren't a lot of rules, and they could change up their routine so things didn't become boring, which was when the young elves usually got into mischief.

Santa was very pleased with the results.

The reindeer were thriving under the boys' gentle and meticulous care, and the wayward elves were not only learning patience, they were also discovering previously unknown talents and skills.

Jamie and Matt excelled at the harder work of endurance training and building obstacle courses while Nick and Alex saw to the reindeers' prancing and leaping lessons.

The young elves quickly grew very fond of the deer and it was rumored that Alex wouldn't leave for the night until he had kissed each deer on the nose, telling every single one how truly special and important they were.

Everything had worked out perfectly - the boys were much less rowdy now that they had been given an important role to play, a role where they were valued and able to contribute to the collective, but were still also allowed the freedom to be different.

 

Unfortunately, the peace and happiness came to an end when the North Pole was suddenly threatened by a group of greedy businessmen who opened up a factory not far away, naming themselves The Northish Pole™ and making cheap, substandard toys.

This new corporation's plan was to put all the smaller toy companies around the world out of business by supplying cheaper toys, faster. And what better place to start than with the most well-known toy makers of them all?

Commercials touting their products flooded the internet, television, and radio, and soon every child was singing their catchy theme song and asking for The Northish Pole's™ merchandise for all the major holidays, from Ramadan to Hanukkah to Christmas.

The new factory also held tours, where visitors paid a lot of money to take The Northish Pole's™ special Polar Express Holiday Train™ to view the building, its outside grounds, and its very large gift shop, all decked out with garish and cheap holiday decorations and opportunities to buy, buy, and buy.

The Northish Pole™ spared no expense when it came to marketing and it was paying off, suddenly hitting Santa and the North Pole hard through a lack of customers. Kids were no longer happy with a simple doll with yarn hair, they now wanted a doll that spoke several languages and pooped in its diaper. Wooden trains were replaced with drones and simple music boxes were traded out for sleek MP3 players.

All children wanted was a toy stamped with The Northish Pole™ logo.

 

Now, of course, Santa didn't mind healthy competition as long as it were done properly, but this new company was far from legitimate and that worried the old man.

They employed under-age workers who were shipped in from far away, made them work long hours for low wages, and then they dressed them in outrageous holiday wizard costumes and labeled them Toy Geniuses™.

In addition, their products were cheaply made with inferior materials, and many of the toys didn't work as promised or broke after a single play.

There were even rumors that their products contained lead and BPA, therefore posing a serious health concern for not only the workers making the toys, but also for the children receiving them. Somehow, though, The Northish Pole™ escaped scrutiny from governmental inspection agencies.

Everything about The Northish Pole™ was troubling.

 

At Santa's weekly _You Better Watch Out_ meeting, Alex, Matt, Jamie, and Nick sat in the back of the great hall where they succeeded in being a distraction, as always.

The young elves would playfully push one another, laugh loudly at private jokes, and occasionally throw a sugar plum through the air while enjoying generous amounts of holiday cookies and punch, sugared up and giggling whenever they heard the tiny bells on the tips of the other elves' hats and shoes, which were absent on their own, having been torn off and used for other, more creative and exciting things.

Alex teased his three friends with the candy cane he was sucking on. He dearly loved canes and their hard sweetness, and he toyed with the boys - slurping noisily, his tongue lapping up his thickened and sugary saliva, taking the cane into his mouth as far as he could, and eyeing them through his thick, dark lashes. Matt, Jamie, and Nick playfully shoved at each other, vying for Alex's direct gaze as he performed his coquettish task.

It wasn't long before the other elves around them shushed the boys so they could hear Santa address his concerns about The Northish Pole™.

When Santa mentioned the discovery of a Toy Genius™ wizard hat in the village and the possibility of spies among them trying to steal toy designs, the audience gasped and all four boys set down his sugary treat on his festive holiday plate and soberly took notice.

This couldn't happen.

They wouldn't let it.

Santa and Mrs. Claus had always been good to them and treated them with respect. There was no way they were going to let this questionable business take over and ruin the Clauses and the North Pole, their beloved home.

And there was _no way_ they were going to allow someone to steal Alex's toy designs.

The boys whispered urgently to each other, nodding in agreement before stuffing their pockets full of sugar cookies and candy canes and heading back to their little home to decide their next course of action.

 

The young elves' plans for helping Santa deal with The Northish Pole™ were all but forgotten the next afternoon.

Alex had just finished with his daily toy meeting and emerged from the Toy Shop with a shiny new ornament jammed deep in his pocket. He was excited to show it to his beloved friends after promising them that it was going to be the most beautiful ornament ever and, after so many days of decorating, Alex finally felt that it was perfect enough to take home to adorn the little tree they had put up by the cozy fire in their beloved, little house.

Alex was skipping along to meet Nick so they could go home together, where the four elves planned to spend the rest of the day decorating their little tree, sipping hot cider, sharing sweet kisses, eating some of Nick's special brownies, sharing even more sweet kisses and giggles, and playing one of Alex's favorite games, _Is That Your Yule Log?_

Alex was beaming with joy because it was the most wonderful time of the year and he was so very eager to be with his beloved friends and to show them the beautiful star he had made especially for them.

He stopped to straighten a candy cane hanging crookedly on a tree and giggled at the memory of their naughty snow angels when someone approached him from behind and threw a holiday gift bag over his head.

Alex yelped and struggled mightily for an elf his size, he was confused, having never in his life encountered something so aggressive, disturbing, and violent.

The last thing the tiny elf remembered was a hard blow hitting his head and then everything sinking into empty blackness, no visions of sugar plum fairies nor toy soldiers to merrily guide him into his welcomed dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

It is said that a brutal, unforecasted wind blew hard the day that sweet Alex was taken.

Its bone-chilling strength ripped its way southward through the Canadian Rockies and Siberian Plateau before splintering and wreaking further havoc through the lower Rocky Mountains and Appalachians, whipping wickedly across the Celtic, North, and Kattegat Seas, and unleashing its frigid punishment over the Ural Mountains.

All was not right in the world, and the polar gods were sending evidence of their anger, their icy grip clutching much of the world, bringing all things to a frozen standstill, a sign that something was horribly amiss.

And the gods were very, very displeased about it.

 

Nick, burst through the tiny, wooden door of their tiny, beloved home, the treacherous wind biting at his back.

He gasped for breath and cried out that Alex was gone, that he had waited for him on Santa Claus Lane like he always did and that Alex never met him, so he went to Jingle Bell Square and waited in the frosty air because he thought Alex's toy meeting might be running late, but their sweet, little Alex never arrived, so he then went to the Toy Shop and asked the elves working there, but they said Alex had already left, at his normal time.

Nick had not even finished his rushed words before Matt and Jamie stopped untangling the shimmery, tinsel garland intended for their festive, little tree and started donning their gay apparel and pushing past him, pulling him along, through the tiny, wooden door to find their beloved Alex.

The three looked everywhere on that stormy afternoon, with Jack Frost nipping relentlessly at their noses, and they asked every elf they came across if he or she had seen their small, sweet Alex.

But no one could help.

Because no one had seen their beloved elf.

 

Word spread quickly through the marshmallow world that they lived in, and soon all the elves, young and old, joined in the search despite the raging storm, everyone worried and wanting to find tiny, missing Alex.

The wayward boys were frustrated and felt useless, all three unable to help dear Alex wherever he was with the misfortune which had befallen him.

Santa and Mrs. Claus were also fraught with worry, their hearts broken over the mysterious disappearance of their clever, little elf.

After the holiday village had been searched thoroughly with no signs of the sweet sprite, an emergency meeting was called to order in the great hall, with all the elves of the village attending, all wanting to help, all brainstorming what might have happened to young, kind Alex.

Horrible scenarios came to light, filling everyone with fear - maybe a wild and wicked beast had taken him, maybe he had fallen through the ice on a skating pond, maybe he was unhappy and had run away, maybe he had been kidnapped!

The room gasped and fell silent at the last suggestion, every little elfin brain remembering The Northish Pole's™ Toy Genius™ wizard hat that had been found in the village only days before.

The room then exploded with shouts, a mass outcry that it must certainly be The Northish Pole™ who had taken their dear, sweet Alex for nefarious reasons. Demands were made that they should immediately rise up in force against The Northish Pole™ and demand tiny Alex's return.

 

Santa held up his white-gloved hands for silence and then spoke, reminding the elves that they couldn't accuse or attack The Northish Pole™ without just cause, for goodness sake, no matter how badly they wanted to. Instead, they would have to go through the proper channels to locate their beloved Alex in order to bring him home safely.

The elfin population of the great hall turned and looked towards Alex's companions at the back of the room, wanting their opinions, but they were met with an empty table, adorned with a festive tablecloth and boughs of holly, and nothing more.

Matt, Jamie, and Nick were gone.

As soon as The Northish Pole™ was mentioned, the three elves knew exactly what had happened to their beloved Alex, and who was to blame. There were too many coincidences that led straight to the culprit - a new toy factory had opened up, spies had been discovered in Santa's village, and now Alex, the North Pole's best toy designer, had gone missing.

Yes, young Matt, Jamie, and Nick knew exactly where their little Alex was, and they were going to get their sweet boy back, no matter what it took.

The elves knew they couldn't tell Santa nor ask his permission, so they were going to have to rescue their beloved Alex on their own, and in their own way.

But first, they had to have a plan, a very good plan, and they needed to check it twice, just like Santa had taught them, to make sure it was successful in bringing Alex home.

 

Alex woke in a small, windowless room with only a bed, chair, desk, and lamp. He rubbed his head and winced at the unfamiliar feeling as his long, nimble fingers glanced over a large bump there.

The kind, little elf was a little frightened and a lot confused, wondering where he was and why he was there, and why someone wouldn't just ask politely if they wanted him to come for a visit.

His questions remained unanswered when the door opened and an extremely large man entered. Alex's eyes widened like saucers, this man was the biggest man that tiny Alex had ever seen, even bigger than Santa Claus himself!

The enormous man, rolled his eyes and grimaced as he looked down at Alex, scoffing that this little thing, this minuscule, elfin creature was the famous toy prodigy his spies had told him about, the one behind much of Santa's success, the one he planned to exploit until he was no longer useful.

The big man found it very hard to believe.

 

Alex looked upward at the gigantic man, a small, tentative smile tugging at his pouty lips, hoping that maybe, just maybe, his happiness and joy would rub off on this burly, angry man.

It had worked on the Grinch, the Heat Miser, and the Abominable Snowman, after all.

But the big man scowled back at him and Alex knew that his shining smiles weren't going to work their magic this time as he had never, ever come across someone so big or so very, very angry. Indeed, this man had all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, and if Alex were given the choice, he'd take the seasick crocodile.

Alex was now very certain that he was far, far away from his beloved home, where he lived with his three beloved friends in their beloved little house, making beloved toys and training their beloved reindeer.

 

The big, burly man tossed something towards Alex and as the little elf caught the heavy object in his tiny, elfin hands, he recognized The Northish Pole's™ logo embellished across the cover.

Alex now knew where he was, and another small fear settled deep within him.

Alex studied the rectangular object, aglow with The Northish Pole's™ emblem, and he lifted his wide, dark eyes and gave a small, grateful smile to the big, mean man, thanking him in his soft, delicate voice.

It was a gift, after all, and a gift is a gift, no matter how big or small.

Alex thought that maybe things weren't as bad as he had first feared while all alone in the small, windowless room with only a bed, chair, desk, and lamp. The big, angry man had just given him a present, so he couldn't be all that bad. Maybe this was going to be just a pleasant visit after all, despite the rude invitation, maybe they would have festive punch and holiday cookies and then Alex could return to his beloved home and beloved friends, whom he already missed dearly.

Alex rubbed the painful bump on his head.

 

Alex's thoughts were interrupted when the giant man let out an evil laugh, sneering that Alex was their top secret weapon, and that The Northish Pole™ was going to use Santa's own toy prodigy against him to put the jolly, old man and the North Pole out of business for good. _Oh the irony of it all!_

The mean man sneered again and pointed an enormous finger at the object in Alex's hands, demanding that the little elf give him all of his toy ideas, _all of them,_ just like he did for Santa.

Alex's tiny brows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head, apologizing, explaining that he couldn't fulfill the big, burly man's wishes because that wasn't the way things worked, and that he and the other elves at the North Pole worked _only_ for Santa because Santa was good and kind and brought joy to the world, and they loved him so very, very much.

Alex apologized again, suggesting that maybe the big, burly man ask something else of Alex that he was more than happy to do, like sing a merry holiday tune or tell a Christmas riddle or two, or perhaps even share a sweet candy cane which Alex always made sure to have jammed deep in one of his many elfin pockets.

 

Good, kind-hearted Alex hefted the notebook upward, politely offering it back to the big, burly man, but his motions were stopped with a hard slap from an incredibly large hand across his tiny, delicate face.

Alex yelped and water welled instantly in his eyes as he stumbled to the ground from the force of the blow and the gift flew from his startled hands and crashed into the wall before falling heavily to the floor.

The man seethed and threatened. Alex had better come up with toy ideas, and soon. He didn't care if the ideas were as odd and nonsensical as Arctic monkeys or as silly and vintage as shadow puppets. _He didn't care_. He wanted all the ideas, _all of them_ , he wanted them _NOW_ , and if Alex did not deliver, he'd never see his precious North Pole again. _Did he understand?_

The big, burly man snarled as he bent over and picked up The Northish Pole™ tablet, tossing it on the desk before asking Alex again in a thunderous voice if he understood.

Alex nodded quickly as he cowered in the corner, not wanting the big, burly man to hit him ever again.

To make him feel pain again.

Pain was something new to Alex and he was certain he did not like it at all.

The man turned and left, slamming the door violently behind him, and Alex whimpered and brushed the wetness from his cheeks, wondering if it were tears.

The tiny elf climbed back onto the bed and curled his tiny self into a tiny ball, wishing he were home with his beloved friends in their beloved little house at the North Pole.

Where there was no pain, and there were no tears.

 

The weather outside was frightful, frigidly raw, and definitely not delightful. The temperatures continued dropping and the punishing winds were relentless and showed no signs of stopping, but neither did the three little elves who were making their way through the mighty blizzard.

Matt, Jamie, and Nick felt the cold deep within their hearts, but they were ready to face unafraid the plans that they'd made, to bring their beloved Alex home.

The young elves burrowed their faces deeper into their little elfin parkas, each whimpering, each fearing for their sweet, little Alex as they made their way through the unrelenting and harsh storm, their beloved reindeer in tow, closer and closer to The Northish Pole™.

 

Alex's large, elfin ears caught the familiar sound of sleigh bells in the snow, but he couldn't be sure without a window to peer from and with the walls surrounding him as thick as the choicest pieces of Christmas peanut brittle. 

The bells and their faint jing, jing, jingling made Alex miss his beloved reindeer, his beloved friends, and his beloved home even more.

He wasn't sure how long he had been there, in the small, windowless room with only a bed, chair, desk, and lamp, but he was out of candy canes and starting to worry that at any moment, the mean man would be back, demanding toy ideas.

Alex picked up the strange device and turned it over several times in his tiny hands, puzzled, not sure what it was, nor even what it did. 

He set it back down gently with a sigh and climbed back onto the bed, curling himself up tight, more tears welling in his eyes as he stared at the useless object, his tiny body finally drifting off to sleep, his heart searching for Christmas, and everything he held dear.

 

Alex's three friends continued their difficult journey through the blinding snow and wind, their plan repeating in their minds as they battled the cold - locate sweet Alex, bring him to safety, dispose of the night watchmen, and then put an end to The Northish Pole™, once and for all.

Upon reaching their destination, the young elves quickly found shelter along a tall snow berm, just out of sight of The Northish Pole's™ security cameras.

Nick, being such a clever and stealthy elf, was the one chosen to sneak past the fake plastic deer, the fake plastic presents, and the fake plastic snowmen and walk straight into The Northish Pole™ building. 

The crafty elf blended in easily with his elfin attire and holiday bag slung over his shoulder. The Northish Pole's™ employees thought he was a cosplaying visitor and the visitors thought he was a Northish Pole™ employee.

In fact, several visitors even stopped and asked the young elf for a photo before they lined up to board The Northish Pole's™ final Polar Express Holiday Train™ of the day. Nick kindly obliged them all, standing and smiling, his eyes gently shining for their cameras as he furtively searched for signs that might lead him to their beloved, little Alex.

He traversed the building swiftly, dropping small, festively wrapped presents from his bag in every nook and cranny as he made his way along, searching for their little, lost elf.

Nick finally stopped his search, knowing he need search no more, when he found a door with a sign that read:

KEEP OUT  
DO NOT ENTER  
THE NORTHISH POLE'S™ TOP SECRET WEAPON AT WORK  
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

Little, lost Alex was lost no more!

 

Alex jumped awake when the doorknob started jiggling, and he sat up quickly, hugging his legs and fearing the worst, until the door flung open to reveal his beloved Nick, smiling and laughing when his eyes rested on tiny, sleepy Alex.

Alex leapt straight from the bed into Nick's strong, waiting arms, and he hugged him tightly, not wanting to ever, ever let him go, ever, ever again. They giggled and shared Eskimo kisses and Nick fretted over the marks on Alex's sweet, little face, wanting to make sure the young elf was okay.

Alex nodded, very eager to see his beloved friends and return to their beloved little house, so Nick let the small elf slide gently from his warm arms until his soft, little elfin shoes met the cold, hard floor.

The two young elves laced their fingers together, squeezing three times in a silent _I Love You_ , and they both dashed towards the exit to find their beloved friends.

 

Needless to say, there was a joyous reunion under the colorful glow of the cheap holiday lights that adorned the fake plastic deer, the fake plastic presents, and the fake plastic snowmen that littered the grounds of The Northish Pole™.

Matt and Jamie took turns holding Alex while the giggly elf showered their faces with gentle squeezes and sweet kisses, his sneaky fingers working their way into one of Jamie's front pockets, happily pulling from it a delicious candy cane that he promptly shoved into his mouth, temporarily satisfied.

The bigger boys fussed over the cuts and bruises on their tiny elf's perfect, little face until Alex assured his worried friends that he was alright.

Matt, Jamie, and Nick decided that the man who took Alex was probably as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, and they were quite sure they wouldn't ever want to touch him, not even with a thirty-nine and a half-foot pole.

Alex agreed.

 

It didn't take long after that for The Northish Pole's™ final Polar Express Holiday Train™ to leave, taking with it the company's remaining employees, including the gigantic man who had been so very mean to young Alex.

Alex shivered and squeaked when he saw the big, burly man moving towards the train, the memory of his very large hand still fresh in the tiny elf's mind.

Even though he knew the big, mean man wouldn't see, Alex stuck his candy cane-colored tongue out at him and giggled, feeling so much better as the mean man disappeared forever into the departing train, leaving behind only the night watchmen at The Northish Pole™, whom the four rowdy elves made quick work of. Punches were thrown and kicks were delivered, and through clever teamwork, the elves soon had them in a decorative sleigh, their arms tied securely behind their backs with holiday lights and festive curling ribbon.

Alex, always a kind and thoughtful elf, dug peppermint rounds from Matt's back pocket and popped one into each guard's surprised mouth before patting them on their heads and praising them for a job well done.

The young boys' beloved reindeer were quickly harnessed to a plastic, ornamental sleigh and Matt whispered in Rudolph's ear to guide the sleigh and take the guards somewhere far, far away.

Their plan was nearly complete, and Nick's smile shone with naughtiness as he offered a detonator to Alex, asking the tiny, abused elf if he wanted to do the honors. Alex clapped his hands with glee, nodding vigorously, and with a mighty push of his tiny elfin thumbs, the plan that had been checked twice was finally complete.

Muffled booms emerged from deep within The Northish Pole™, the building moaning its protest, and not long after, its few windows were shattering and thick, coal-colored smoke was billowing out.

 

The polar gods were appeased and the brutal storms ended as suddenly as they had started, the skies partially clearing and leaving behind a big, full moon and a soft, gentle snow.

The kind with big, fluffy snowflakes that drifted lazily to the snow-covered earth.

The kind Christmas songs were written about through the ages.

The kind that looked like a picture print by Currier and Ives.

The young elves stood in the snowy field, watching The Northish Pole™ burn brightly, basking in the warmth of its large flames as snowflakes tickled their faces. Their beloved reindeer returned soon after, landing softly next to the boys with an empty, plastic sleigh.

Their plan had worked - their sweet Alex was safe, no one was hurt, and The Northish Pole™ was no more.

The four troublesome elves laughed and clapped, danced and sang, and hugged and kissed, with joy in their eyes, love in their hearts, and cuts and bruises on their faces.

Now it was time to go home to their warm, beloved little house at the North Pole.

 

And so, the four elves made their journey home to their beloved North Pole, their spirits high and a mixture of relief and elation lifting their hearts as each strong elf took turns holding little Alex tight, so that all the way home he'd be warm. The tiny elf delighted in the attention and smothered his beloved friends with kisses while entertaining them with his merry ramblings and Yuletide carols.

After seeing the reindeer to their stalls and giving them extra water, hugs, and yummy treats, the boys made it to their beloved little house, where they happily collapsed on their little couch, nursing their cuts, scrapes, and bruises.

Each boy wanted Alex close and the tiny elf was happy to oblige, moving his lithe body gracefully from one lap to the next, assuring each of his beloved friends in his own special way that he was home and safe in their loving arms again, where he belonged.

 

The affectionate elves were lazing on the couch, sated and sleepy, their elfin clothes disheveled, and their arms and legs entwined like festive holiday ribbons, when the sound of sleigh bells jing, jing, jingling and ring ting tingling too, floated softly through the air.

There was a soft knock on the door and before the sprites had time to answer it, the old man himself, Santa, entered their beloved little home.

The young elves flew to their feet, with Matt, Jamie, and Nick shoulder-to-shoulder in a tight row, adjusting their elfin blouses, zipping their elfin trousers, and tugging their elfin hats on properly while Alex hid behind his beloved friends, scrambling to don his elfin garments in a clumsy flash.

Santa had never visited their beloved little home before and the wayward elves were worried.

Was he here to simply visit, or did he know what they had done? Was he angry? Were they in trouble? Would they be banished from their beloved North Pole, the only home they had ever known?

 

Santa took off his white gloves and unwrapped the red scarf from around his jolly face and beard, searching the young elves' eyes for answers, when the tiniest elf popped his head out from behind his three friends, eyes wide, a smile pulling on his lips, as he stared adoringly at his beloved Santa.

Santa's eyes misted as he drew in a deep breath and released it in a huff of relief, chuckling softly to himself, overjoyed to see the tiny elf was safely home.

The four, young elves stood quietly, like stoic wooden nutcrackers, lips pursed, not daring to speak or move. As the stillness lengthened, the boys started fidgeting, suddenly painfully aware of how messy their living room was.

A good elf always kept his home tidy and clean, but the four young sprites had proven that they didn't always follow the good elf rules. Their beloved little home was cluttered with uneaten holiday treats and spoiling eggnog, and there were dirty holiday dishes that needed cleaning and holiday throws and socks strewn all around, and most noticeably, a pair of holiday-patterned boxers, size XXXS, was hanging off of the candy cane chandelier.

Alex blushed when he saw his recently discarded boxers and he grinned, pulling his elfin trousers up higher, shrugging sheepishly. The other boys averted their eyes, crimson heat creeping up their cheeks and ears, their intimate homecoming celebration still buzzing through their bodies.

 

Santa stayed silent as he moved through the messy room, his jolly gaze glancing up at the holiday-patterned boxers.

The old man smirked and approached the young elves, cupping their cheeks and assessing their injuries while murmuring that they were damned fools for doing things on their own, all the while his warm, soft hands were instantly taking their aches and pains away in the twinkling of his eye.

When Santa was done, he turned to leave, but not before telling the four, young elves that they were very, very special, the North Pole would not be complete without them, and that he and Mrs. Claus loved them very, very much.

Santa opened the door and paused once more, winking at his beloved elves. With a quick wave of his arm, a sparkling trail of magic swirled into the room and circled their beloved little tree, leaving lots of toys and goodies from his sleigh.

And then he was gone in a flash, his deep, warm _HO HO HO_ instantly echoing through the tiny village, filling it with warmth, peace, and joy, letting everyone know throughout the North Pole that all was well.

And that their little, kind-hearted Alex was home.

 

The boys looked at each other, their eyes aglow with joy and wonder, and they knew that they would hardly sleep that night. Instead, they'd be opening Santa's presents and singing the songs they loved to sing without a single stop while they watched the chestnuts in the fireplace pop.

_Pop! Pop! Pop!_

Alex reached deep into his pocket, past his replenished and beloved candy canes, until his nimble fingers found what they were searching for. The sweet elf grinned, brimming with excitement, as he pulled out the precious ornament he had made for his beloved friends. And after they _oohed_ and _aahed_ over its perfectness, they helped lift tiny Alex so he could hang the shining star upon the highest bough.

It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.

The day they got their beloved Alex back.

 

And that is the story of how four, mischievous elves who never quite fit in saved their beloved North Pole from the evil clutches of The Northish Pole™.

It may not have been the right way to do it and maybe the wayward elves took things a little too far, but they did the best they could with what they had and in the end, they simply let their hearts guide them.

And everyone learned an important lesson that day, that no matter how different the young elves were from the rest of the village, they all wanted the same thing - to live in peace and be allowed to do the things that made them happiest, to love and help everyone around them, and to bring as much joy to the world as possible.

And, just in case you were wondering...

Alex, Matt, Jamie, and Nick lived happily ever after, together, in their beloved little house in their beloved North Pole, still a little naughty and still a lot mischievous, as they tended to their beloved reindeer.

In their own special way.

 

What happened to The Northish Pole™ and their greedy investors, you ask?

Well, with their sales plummeting and the sudden destruction of their toy factory, the company had no other choice but to shut down operations. 

They recently relocated to sunny California and formed a recording company called Phony Music Entertainment™, and they've been using their vast fortune to buy songs for their pool of talentless singers to record. Their promotions have been relentless and sales have soared as masses of young listeners flock to buy the music of these overnight success stories, all deftly skilled with auto-tune, but lacking any real talent to play an instrument or write their own lyrics.

But, you better not cry and you better not pout, because the world has a way of taking care of things and balancing everything out.

And word has it that a band of four young musicians have a plan to oust the questionable recording company from their beloved LA...

 

 


End file.
